Second-class

In tweeds and furs and pearls and curls,
The rows and rows of lovely girls
Are strolling arm-in-arm to school
To find their niche; to earn, to rule!

In baseball shirts and well-worn shoes
The jean-clad, beltless, feckless youths
Go slouching to the DSS
To bail them out of worklessness.

The worker-bee that scurries fast
Avoiding trollies, hastens past
While pensioners crowd tiny shops
And squeeze the fruit and veg to slops.

The mothers juggle work and kids
And pets that piddle, nibble; fibs
From all of those who claimed that life
Would soon improve as someone’s wife.

Where blokes stay home and watch the box;
Dads clean their cars, and wear odd socks,
Mere gentlemen frequent the gym,
The pubs and clubs, but rarely in

A frame of mind to brook disdain
Belittle those who’d challenge claim
To right of birth: Y chromosome –
All call the world their very own.

The eBay Asshole

Wow, I got a bid!
How great, I have five views
Another two still watching it
A message!  Shit, bad news.

Their grandma died
Their dog is sick
And needs a doctor
Double quick

Their homework’s due
Their rent is too
They want to lay it
All on you

A discount!
Gimme!
A freebie!
Damme!

They read the rules
They saw the prix
And now they find
They want it free?

Can’t wait to get
Their paws upon
The item listed
For a song…

So do I dare
Try holding them
To what it said
At auction’s end?

Instead of
Caveat emptor
It’s ‘Careful, Seller…’
(What a bore!)

In public forums
Such as this
The feedback, ratings:
Kill, or kiss.

So what’s to do?
Retry?  Relist?
Or take what’s offered
Shorter shrift

And chalk it to
Experience
The world is short
On common sense

But if online
I hope to flog
More goods, I’d better
Humour Sods.