Generic post-breakup analysis (hers)

I love your mem’ry more
Than what you were to me in life.
Though I still daydream daily
Of my role then as your wife.
I tried to do my duty
Did the best job that I could.
I think we just weren’t meant to last
Our match was not too good.
I, far too jealous would become
Without you by my side,
And you would feel quite suffocated
By my endless pride.
We’d rub each other constantly
‘Til fur would start to fly,
Then I would comfort you in shame
Each time you’d start to cry.
We never solved our problems
And yet argued without end.
I loved you as a mother
You preferred me as a friend.
So everything imploded
As things came to quite a head.
I never got to blow my top –
My reason turned you red.
We parted with great sorrow,
But, with also great relief.
For separation somehow,
Despite distance, caused no grief.
I can’t forget my lover,
Though I hear you have moved on.
We hurt each other deeply
And these feelings won’t begone.
I cannot wish you evil,
That would go against the grain.
But with your joy, I counsel
That you also bear some pain.
For one without the other,
No sense can it construct,
As concepts out of balance:
Sep’rate are just fucked.

Song of the smitten

Mi spingi lontana di te
Mi spingi lontana, perche?
Io son quasi fuori di me!
Ma tu non hai cuore, e mi spingi ancora.

Mi son ‘namorata, c’era ‘na volta
Mi son piegata con quegli tuoi occhi.
Occhi ben scuri, e bocca del diablo,
Lo sguardo m’incrocia e non vedo piu.

Mi sei torturando, lo sai.
Piu che lo fai, piu che piangerei.
Ti voglio poi bene e come e quanto
Ti voglio tanto ma mi vuoi far piantar…

Mi son ‘namorata, c’era ‘na volta
Mi son piegata con quegli tuoi occhi.
Occhi ben scuri, e bocca del diablo,
Lo sguardo m’incrocia e non vedo piu.

Canzon del stalker

Quando mi perdo, sola nel buio
Ti voglio bene, ma non sei piu mio.
Ti voglio tanto, ma tu mi sei perso
Poi io canto, per tentar di cambio.

Tu sarei mio, quando e quanto non so
Ma poi sai che ti voglio tanto
Tu mi tornera… forse l’estate
Ti amo, ti voglio, ma tu lo sai pure.

E poi ti vedo, in mezzo del’ folla
Mi rende pazza: t’abbracciando un altra!
Quel altra, Donna; ragazza, fanciulla che sono;
Domani vergogna t’avra!

Tu eri mio, c’era (u)na volta,
Non so se mi torni, ma come ti voglio!
Tu che mi manchi, con quella puttana,
Ti vedo, ti voglio, domani t’avro!

Oggi ti sposi con quella puttana,
Io son sbarrata, non vedro le nozze.
Piu che mi rispingi, piu che ti vo’
Io non vedo l’ora che vedova sei…

Tu sarei mio, quando e quanto non so,
Ma poi sai che ti voglio tanto.
Mi tornera sai, e forse l’inverno;
Ti amo, ti voglio, ma non mi vuoi piu!

Emergency waiting room scribbles

Suddenly the dam bursts,
Letting all the feelings flow,
The lust and the pain,
Tears I never let show,
All the misery builds
As the hurricane grows
And then calm in the eye of the storm.

I can cry forever
But my eyes will miss their sight
I can scream my hatred
But that’s giving up the fight.
So I grab the reigns more tightly
As I store the pain up nightly
How I miss the most unkindly cut of all.
And again, all the tears fail to fall.

I need a release, God! When?
Will I ever find peace, again?
Could I take a break now?
Then when?
Does it ever get easier?

Power Ballad

A while back, my other half was in the A and E. It was a really bad time for it – a Saturday night, late. There were a lot of emergencies and the aftermath of a botched drugs bust, i.e. police everywhere, people screaming, covered in blood, as well as the usual drunks, illness, domestic violence, suicides and accidents. I managed to get him seen to straight away as he was a genuine emergency, but due to the chaos we got separated. My mind wouldn’t stop buzzing, shut in the lousy atmosphere of the relatives room, surrounded by other people praying or cleaning up after their battered kids and preparing to give up. I couldn’t settle, sat there in my pyjamas, sweatshirt and trainers, listening to the terrified screams of someone in withdrawal on the other side of the wall, so I tried to put some of the turmoil down on paper to get it out without adding to the noise myself. What follows are the variable results:

Sometimes it’s the silence
That causes us to weep.
Life in all its violence
Maybe just lack of sleep?
But somewhere in the darkness
That clings about us all
The light of something glitters
And you catch me as I fall

To my knees, in silence
You don’t fear the violence
You bring peace
And lay me down at last
Until the night has passed.

Alone amidst the madness
I feel the others crash.
Their tears break hearts, bring sadness,
As mental Titans clash.
I’m standing there, an island
Surrounded by the gloom
And you light up my world
As I see you ‘cross the room.

You are there, I need you
Please beware, I need you.
Don’t let go!
I’m shaking from the blast
The dawn will come at last.

And when I feel your heartbeat
That thrums about my ears,
The strong arms that enfold me,
The love to dry my tears,
You keep me safe in chaos
I feel you, strong and true.
I love you, please believe me –
It all comes down to you.

You are there, when I need you
And you care. How I need you!
I don’t know where I was long ago
Before I knew you…

You are strong, I know it!
Feel you there, you show how
Much you care
That I get through all right
You give me strength to fight.

Lousy Limericks

Sit down you’re rocking the boat

Banter in an aeroplane
Twixt captain and his crew
Is rarely e’er a good idea
When piloting’s to do.

The trials of long underwear

There was a young lass from Dumfries
Whose girdle came down to her knees
When asked how she walked
The lass only squawked
“Oh, I get around, if you please!”

On neglect of a significant other

A love left his lass all alone
While round the town he chose to roam
The pretty young crumpet
Soon turned to a strumpet
Now he’s the one she leaves at home.

The song of the seasons

When maiden sighs ‘mid grasses long
Her lover she would lure
But when the snow is on the ground
Our lass is not so sure.

American tourists

Amidst the McFlurry
Of Yanks in a hurry
One constant does spring to mind
The bigger they come
The harder they step
On your toes, I tend to find.

For lack of a connection

When John went to Euston with Rita
(As from her train, he’d sworn to meet her)
He found it quite hard to tell from the card
Which platform from which he should greet her.
So John asked a guard or a porter
How he could find out where he ought-a
Be meeting his pal, as it wasn’t long now
And her temper was fast growing shorter.
To John’s great dismay though, this tactic
Backfired almost like elastic
He was sent to the end far away from his friend,
And missed her, which made her quite irate really.

The Saga of my Youth

I kissed a shadow for too long
Then woke to find him dead and gone
Yet I was sure, in him did trust
That what we’d shared was more than lust.
Imagine my dismay to find
I was the last thing on his mind.
His photograph to me was true
But not his self, for he had new
Loves lining up around the block.
When I returned it was a shock
To find my friends had all succumbed
To charms I long had thought my own.
Deceit, I feel, to tell the truth
Was part the product of my youth;
They feed to us those pretty lies
Of love so strong it never dies.
Though for a while I felt a fool,
I wonder was it me the crueller
Of the couple – for my doubt
In his sincerity throughout?
Or am I blameless in the role
Of wronged maid by real arsehole?
Perhaps the simplest and most true:
I fell in love, but not with you.
For my love was a fervent flame
That you felt not, so who’s to blame?
I cannot answer this, my duck,
But miss your kisses daily, fuck,
I crave your scent dear, even now.
And do not dare to question how
I feel your touch upon my skin
And still I must not, can’t give in.
For you are with another. She
Deserves not what you gave to me.