My Big, Red Button

I could never be a world leader.

The world is full of wonders,
Filled up with far too many things
That make a big, red, shiny button
Too great a temptation.

For my own fuse, slow though it may be,
Once lit, I speed to anger faster than a bullet
Or a trans-Siberian express train
Trying to outrun an avalanche.

When fuelled by the flash of offense
In a truly selfish moment
Injustice swells to tear at my senses
Like halitosis in a lift.

I watch the last straw floating
A feather in the wind, waiting to settle,
Wanting to tip the scales.
I inhale, slowly, deliberately. Taste the poison.

At this point I am calm enough to kill.
Dispassionate, serenity masks the inferno within,
Stoking my fury to incandescence
As I clutch at sanity, taut as a bowstring.

All at once the straw lands, the scales tip
My fingers itch for a weapon large enough
To slay my nearest demon, wreak bloody
Vengeance to destroy the world that wronged me.

So despite my fondness for launch codes
And shiny discs marked ‘do not press’
For this reason I consider myself ill-suited
To the narrow corridors of power.

Also, I dislike crowds, helicopters and
Tedious, formal banquets with too many forks
Having no great need to pretend a liking
For dogs, pretzels, or other peoples infants.

Pyromania

Never burn bridges
You may need to cross
Your feet will get wet
As you learn who is boss

Never burn bridges
You’ve had to defend
From both enemy torch
And the blows of a friend

Never burn bridges
Just count down from ten
And step away slow;
Close the matchbox again

Never burn bridges
Face facts: I’m afraid
The river’s polluted
You’re too short to wade

Never burn bridges
You know that it’s wrong
As pedants with pitchforks
May visit ‘ere long

Never burn bridges
You can’t part the waves
Like an Israelite tour guide –
You’ll have to behave

Never burn bridges
That lead you back home
The ash in your pack
Weighs you down as you roam

Never burn bridges
That overhang rock
You can swallow your pride
Or prepare for a shock

Never burn bridges
A rule, I agree
Unless you can build them
From scratch in the sea