HarMonica

Why is it the ‘other’ woman
Brings us out in rash hysterics
Howling at the moral failings
Of our politicians? Clerics,

Parents, teachers, doctors, shrinks
All united in their hatred
Of a figure that still stinks
Clad in pot pourri de tabloid

That blue dress, evocative:
Events that should be long forgotten
(Youthful indiscretions hid)
Provocative, with gains ill-gotten

We suspect and we accuse –
Cynical, the cuckold’s friend
And tap out mindless platitudes.
While vain, her struggles to defend

What shreds of reputation, scorched
And tattered to her yet remain;
We gather up our pitch and forks
And stoke the pyre once again

Anticipating further fun
Rough justice for another’s slight
We gather at suggestion
She might escape unhappy flight

Delighted at the sacrifice
Of one more soul to unjust mob
Let he without sin cast the first
(So many more the crowd will lob)

In brave hypocrisy at what
No doubt too many may have done
Themselves and not been hotly caught
Entrapment by ambition

Pilloried or harried hence
Built to take a desperate dive
Fashioned into common, dense
Unfit for consort, Saints alive!

The very thought a woman wronged
Who made a choice that haunts her still
Might be allowed to face the throng
And live down public shaming? Ill

At ease with those she counted on
Whose turncoat ways still cause distress;
We won’t allow her to move on
And rake old muck to make new mess.

What is it we hope to gain
Constructing walls to keep her caged
When influence she held through fame
Is long dissolved and disengaged?

A public life, her sentence stands
With little room for private grief
Unhappy Recognition’s hands
Control where she may find relief.

Now with a cause she would promote
To shame the bullies that still flaunt
A woman’s infamous deep throat
For speaking up for truth not taunt.

I wish our morals stretched as far
Restraining tongues at twitter time
Realpolitiks remain sub par
We’ve little else to do online

Slut-shaming is our dearest trend
As one more hussy kicks herself
For lending hands and more to end
All dignity, career and wealth.

This altar calls for fresher blood
I fear the next will pay a price
The mob is in an ugly mood
With barely-legal sacrifice

Lined up for entertainment here
Soon rubber-necking, righteous louts
Will crowd around to shove and leer
At those who try to tough it out

We’ll see them crawl and cry and squirm
Extracting vengeance from each one
With twerking fervour: all must burn
Up goes the cry – the hunt’s begun.

The eBay Asshole

Wow, I got a bid!
How great, I have five views
Another two still watching it
A message!  Shit, bad news.

Their grandma died
Their dog is sick
And needs a doctor
Double quick

Their homework’s due
Their rent is too
They want to lay it
All on you

A discount!
Gimme!
A freebie!
Damme!

They read the rules
They saw the prix
And now they find
They want it free?

Can’t wait to get
Their paws upon
The item listed
For a song…

So do I dare
Try holding them
To what it said
At auction’s end?

Instead of
Caveat emptor
It’s ‘Careful, Seller…’
(What a bore!)

In public forums
Such as this
The feedback, ratings:
Kill, or kiss.

So what’s to do?
Retry?  Relist?
Or take what’s offered
Shorter shrift

And chalk it to
Experience
The world is short
On common sense

But if online
I hope to flog
More goods, I’d better
Humour Sods.

Plagiarism

A victimless crime?
While we all crave exposure
One misquote may damage
Hard-won reputation

Some treacherous friend
Being tempted to borrow
Takes more than their share
Of a direct quotation

And fringes of Property
Law have been parted
The ingress unwelcome
Or even unknown; see

The date-rape distinction:
Consent – was it given?
By author or agent?
If not – Oops! That’s blown!

For all you’ve acknowledged
Original sources
You’ve copied and pasted
What was not your own

If you’re lucky, a tap
On the wrist and it’s sorted
Resist and be damned
‘Tis The Law, don’t you know?