I am not a nurse

People tell me I look like one

Whatever that means

I hope it alludes to my

Caring, empathetic nature

My tolerance of others’

Less savoury habits

Being an all-round good egg

Always on time and

Well-equipped

With clean cuticles

Kind eyes

And a sympathetic ear

I have my doubts

Hospital corners and bedpans aside

I worry all you see

Is a short skirt

A clipboard

And a pair of sensible shoes

You have to fill in the blanks

Imagine the stockings

Far better to think on

Than the reality of my

Boring old socks…

While I am not one

To knock a good fetish

It is strange how

Blood pressure rises

When you see me

Snap on some marigolds

Ready to get down to business

Doing the washing up

Dressed in blue

Noisy neighbour

Bang! The childish adult kicks the ball
It Bang! shakes the fence Bang! and
Scatters the Bang! birds from their
Treetop nests. Bang! He is bored, this
Bang! boy child whose body out Bang!
Grew his mind un Bang! til he was
Shut inside Bang! with the other misfits.
Bang! The rose petals fall Bang! covering
The Bang! grass with their Bang! broken
Blossoms. Bang! The nurse calls to
Bang! shake him from where Bang! ever
It is he Bang! goes when the mood to
Bang! kick has over Bang! taken his
Desire to bounce Bang! on the squeaky trampoline
Or Bang! to pee on the syca Bang! more
Tree asserting his Bang! dominance over
Bang! deceitful foliage that Bang!
Whispers secrets Bang! for only his
Bang! ears. Twenty seven. A
Magic square. I wonder if he knows…

Bang!

Referral

The doctor knows best
And he cannot be bothered
To sit here and listen to you

The nurses are waiting
His workload’s frustrating
And frankly it simply won’t do

So smile and nod nicely
When told that the pain
That you feel is all there in your head

The GP was wrong
There’s no cause for concern
Just go home and relax there instead

And try not to worry
The girl on reception
When passing by, clutching the wall

There isn’t a thing she can do
To help you. She won’t catch you
If you start to fall

Yes, your notes have gone missing
All part of the system
We run here to keep you in check

For the old NHS
Is a roaring success
It’s the patients that drive it to Heck

Please do get up and go
Without causing a show
For the next fool that trundles in, read:

No apologies needed
With bleeding unheeded
We’ll send you the bill when you’re dead