Two dimensional tech support
I switch to desktop view
And open Windows to your heart
To see what else is new
The virus checker cannot cope
With all you put me through
Downloading tripe ’til systems choke
What’s an Admin to do?
But lock it down as best she might
Until she finds the cure
RegEditing through half the night
SAD, cmd-prompt and sore
Perhaps one day will come a tool
That knocks them all for six
But while we wait to see that jewel
I’ll try my usual tricks…
Pandering to electronics
Bow to ev’ry sacred beep
Of the venerable laptop
They demand must last the week
Soothe the RAM and juggle updates
Stroke each key, a fond caress
And save your curses for the skinflint
CEO that caused this mess
Crying out for newer hardware
Staff on iPad overtime
OS struggles, RegEd nightmare
Software out of step and time
To make up shortfall in the budget
Health and Safety would think twice
And while we’re on the bloody subject
Newer desktops might be nice
We’re working hard to beat frustration
As one poor techie tries to cope
With a no-winner situation
Soldier on with little hope
She’s put the poor thing through it’s paces
Done the defrag, checked the code
Rebooted and restarted software
Not designed to get this old
So frankly it would hardly shock if
Setup takes up half the day
She’s done her best with what she’s got
But can’t do more than slow decay
Heroes of my generation
Without name or even nation
Having fun with all creation
Terminals of botheration
Matrix, sleek and filled with toys
To exercise big girls and boys
Generating corporate noise
Delighting in the quiet joys
Creative juices flowing thickly
Plug ‘n’ play each level quickly
Conscience rarely feeling prickly
Navigating systems slickly
Operating under cover
Lurkers pinging one another
Forum flamers doused by Mother
Teasing Trojans’ backdoor lover
Wore that t-shirt as the prize
Ironic slogans catching eyes
That hoped for glory; in disguise
With lines of code and late-night dyes
Cracker chic was all the rage
During our screen-fed dance-club days
But rebels smart in other ways
Soon turn their skills to stuff that pays
We’re middle-aged and past our prime
And chose the red pill, every time
But now a life of cyber-crime
Is overtaking yours and mine
Katherine Shirley 