A Capital Man

Our bold Mayor of London
In spite of his burdens
Has chosen to cross
To the North bank again

The party political
Must have been calling
For stickier wickets
Inside number ten.

Conservative tastes
And the right education
Would make him a candidate
Proud to display

Strong family values…
Unchecked dedication
To national causes
That brook no delay.

He plots to return
To his life in the fast lane –
Trade in the bike for a
Chauffeur and Jag

No skimming the fine print
For that would be cheating
And soon on the map
He’ll be planting his flag.

Alas, the election
Requires some sacrifice
Two hefty titles
To shoulder at once

But that shouldn’t be hard
For a Machiavellian
Spinner of dreams
Used to acting the dunce.

So he’s setting his cap
At those hard-to-reach voters
More mums on the run
Far too busy to check

If this scruffy buffoon’s
Just an overgrown schoolboy;
The first among men,
Or a knife to the neck.

Jean Pierre, Clochard

Le clochard qui bu
Jusqu’au coin de la rue
A ses valides raisons
Pour le faire

Il n’est riche ni propre
Mais ce qu’il a de trop
C’est une vie passée
Là en pleine aire

Il s’en fou du télé
Et du pays entier
Il n’a pas d’intérêt
Dans le foot

Mais il se trouve content
Ses amis là en front
Et le goût du bon vin
À la bouche