Advertising’s not what it was
The theatre needs a pimp
Instead of plays to draw applause
We want more wits, less think
An audience cannot be left
To cogitate alone
They seek a clue, a hand so deft
It helps them feel at home
We’ll dumb them down, those classic plays
And sell them out for laughs
For Shakespeare simply doesn’t phase
They crave more tits and arse
We’ll set the thing in modern times
So costumes are no hassle
Those kings and queens of long lost rhymes
Will reunite in chaps and tassels
Actors just do what they’re told,
Trust in director’s vision
Agents worth their weight in gold
Cannot prevent derision
And thus the show goes on and on
Reviewers numb to change
They watch the peep show and anon
From theatre are estranged
Katherine Shirley 