Frankenstein’s bicycle

We tried to sell it

Before lockdown really bit

And we found out

Why you’d kept it

All these years

Luckily the bloke

Who said he’d buy it

Never showed up

So when you

Suddenly needed

A way to get

From A to Z

Free of risking

Public transport

There it stood

That rusty heap

Of ancient, recycled

Bits and pieces

Trusty to the end

It only needed

New wheels

Brakes, pedals

A comfier seat

New chain

Central bolt

And eventually

The crossbar snapped

When you met that

Final pothole

Now it sits glumly

In the hallway

Leaning on the

Cranky radiator

Muddying the carpet

While we try to negotiate

The grey market

Of spare parts

Traded online

Fished out of canals

Pinched from passageways

And porches

Hoping for inspiration

To strike twice

And for your Phoenix

To ride once more

Life Cycles

Grabbing life by the pedals
With no chains to break through
Slipping, sliding past medals
With one goal, tried and true

Just to get through the city
Home in time for your tea
Though the bicycle’s pretty
It’s not really for me

For the traffic’s horrendous
And the weather is bad
Exercise, yes, tremendous!
But I’m not bloody mad!

I tried it twice in the summer
With too many regrets
For though the speed was a hummer
There’s a bummer: Tourette’s

Ev’ry vehicle encounter
Be they quick, be they slow
My vernacular banter
All too willing to flow

As I zoomed past the kiddies
On their way to first class
Educational ditties
It was not gonna last

So I’m glad for the saddles
That we see on the street
But for safety, I’ve had to
Swear I won’t try to beat

Track records for the expletives
That came splattering when
I biked from Clapham to work
Then back to Clapham again