Being Terrific

“I’m fine!” she says
Her most optimistic tone
All circuits revved
Tits and teeth on the phone

Hear her – peacock-proud
“Oh, never better, my love!”
Fanning every cloud
As it pours from above

“No problem!” Hits
With its usual grin
As she pits her wits
Helping others to win

“Right away, it’s done”
Dropping everything now
She will be the one
Fixing matters somehow

Shoving all her plans
To the back of the queue
Just to understand
How best her skills may serve you

“Never mind” she waves
Putting on a good face
Rearranging days
So she’s able to race

To the rescue cry
Both of friend and of foe
For she’ll always try
To be there for each woe

How she longs to sit
In a chair on her own
And let others get
Used to coping alone

But she’ll never rest
Not while someone’s in pain
So she’s still the best
And no one can complain

The Complaints Department

Nobody calling at the tail end of Friday
Has anything good to say
If they’ve left it this long, it’s a ticking time bomb
That they don’t quite dare leave ’til Monday

So the caller’s frustrated (and won’t be placated)
They picked up the handset to moan
It’s a cert they will dump ev’ry unwanted hump
Down the angrily crackling phone

I’ll be blamed for their woes, standing in for the foes
In their workplace they daren’t attack
For a frontal assault would be seen as their fault
The decision that got them the sack

So a dose of aggression is their contribution
To kick off my paltry weekend
And the favour I do them in listening to them
Will never be seen as a friend