Lousy Limericks

Sit down you’re rocking the boat

Banter in an aeroplane
Twixt captain and his crew
Is rarely e’er a good idea
When piloting’s to do.

The trials of long underwear

There was a young lass from Dumfries
Whose girdle came down to her knees
When asked how she walked
The lass only squawked
“Oh, I get around, if you please!”

On neglect of a significant other

A love left his lass all alone
While round the town he chose to roam
The pretty young crumpet
Soon turned to a strumpet
Now he’s the one she leaves at home.

The song of the seasons

When maiden sighs ‘mid grasses long
Her lover she would lure
But when the snow is on the ground
Our lass is not so sure.

American tourists

Amidst the McFlurry
Of Yanks in a hurry
One constant does spring to mind
The bigger they come
The harder they step
On your toes, I tend to find.

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